A Weight Lifted

This might sound odd, but I truly feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders today. Ever since we made the decision to get divorced there has be so much to get done...petition papers, notary signatures, waivers, division of goods, telling the kids and the list goes on. Well, today the papers were notarized and I will go file them first thing in the morning. I know this shouldn't feel like a relief, but it does. First, you must understand that I never wanted this for my life, of course no one does. However, for several years I have not felt right and things have not been as they should be. I won't go in to details as they really don't matter. But, I do want to share a quote I found that gives me a lot of comfort. President James E. Faust said, "What, then, might be 'just cause' for breaking the covenants of marriage? I confess I do not claim the wisdom or authority to definitively state what is 'just cause.' Only the parties to the marriage can determine this. They must bear the responsibility for the train of consequences which inevitably follows if these covenants are not honored. In my opinion, 'just cause' should be nothing less serious than a prolonged and apparently irredeemable relationship which is destructive of a person's dignity as a human being." Let me also say that I do not share this quote to place blame or point fingers in any way. The simple fact is that I have been fighting a losing battle for many years and I feel lighter in knowing that I am now putting that battle behind me. I continue to pray for my family, all of them, daily and will never stop that practice.

All that being said, I still love my (soon to be) ex and am grateful for the things he brought in to my life, especially our three girls. I will always care for him. We have shared life day in and day out for the last six and a half years. But, I also know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that it IS time to move on with my life. I have given all I had to give and now it is time to replenish me, to be a better woman, a better mother, and a better daughter of a loving Father in Heaven. I know that it is in and through His help alone that I can heal and become stronger in the end.

Now, aside from that, we had a blast tonight. We had some friends over for dinner that are moving to Germany at the end of the week. We won't even go into how jealous I am about that whole thing. But, we had italian chicken and apple strawberry pie. It was divine. Then the boys played on the computer, the kids all played together, and I made a few more bows for Beth. They are coming again tomorrow night and I will try to get a picture before these wonderful people go globe trotting. I'm grateful to know them, and to have wonderful people, all over the globe, in my life. I truly am blessed, even in the midst of trials.